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Bullying in the Workplace

Mon, 30 Apr 2012 20:27:23 +0100

Bullying in the Workplace

We often hear about bullying in the schoolyard and as a result can associate bullying as being a problem for children. However bullying in the workplace is also very common and is perhaps not recognised or reported to the extent that it should be. Bullying crosses all divides. Bullying can be hierarchical, peer or upwards. In the U.K. the national Workplace Bullying Advice Line and Bully on Line reported that 75% of bullying cases involved individuals being bullied by their managers and around a quarter of cases where an individual is bullied by peers. In this situation managers are often aware of what is going on but do not take any action and 1-2% of cases involve a manager being bullied by a subordinate. Bullying can be carried out by an individual, a pair or a group. More women tend to be bullied than men. In an ESRI (Economic Social Research Institute) Report in 2007 it showed that women were 10.7% more at risk than men . Also, a survey carried out in 2010 by the Institute of Bullying in the US showed 58% of women were targets whilst men were at 42%. This survey showed that the figures went up for women targeting other women from the previous survey carried out in 2007.

“Bullying in the workplace is repeated aggression, verbal, psychological or physical, conducted by an individual or group against another person or persons. Bullying is where aggression or cruelty, viciousness, intimidation or a need to humiliate dominates the relationship. Isolated incidents of aggressive behaviour, while to be condemned, should not be described as bullying. In the workplace environment there can be conflicts and interpersonal difficulties. Many of these are legitimate industrial relations difficulties which should be dealt with through the appropriate industrial relations channels. Only aggressive behaviour which is systematic and ongoing should be regarded as bullying.” (The Health and Safety Authority)

In the workplace there are several types of bullying and they are:

Corporate Bullying: This is where employers take advantage of employees knowing that jobs are scarce. They often;

Expect employees to work longer hours than they are paid for.

Are dismissive of anyone suffering from stress whilst ignoring the causes.

Regularly snoop on employees by listening to phone conversations, use mystery shoppers, and contact clients/customers behind employees backs asking leading questions.

Client Bullying: This is where an employee is bullied by the people they work for, e.g. teachers can be bullied by students/parents. A recent online survey by the teachers union NASUWT (UK) showed more than two thirds of the 3,000 teachers polled experienced or witnessed workplace bullying in the past 12 months. Nurses can be bullied by patients/relatives, social workers by clients. In shops, banks etc employees can be bullied by customers.

Institutional Bullying: This is where bullying is so entrenched in an organisation that it is the norm. Some examples of this type of bullying are as follows:

Long-existing contracts are replaced with new short-term contracts on less favourable terms with the accompanying threat of "agree to this or else".

People are moved, roles and/or schedules are changed, workloads are increased, and job progression is made more difficult or can be blocked.

All of the above happens without consultation.

Cyber Bullying: This is bullying by text or e-mail.

Organisational Bullying is a combination of pressure bullying and corporate bullying. Pressure bullying happens in a stressful situation where a person loses their temper, shouts, is irritable. When the situation calms down the person’s behaviour returns to normal. During this time they become aware of their behaviour, may apologise and do not repeat this behaviour.

Serial Bullying: This is where a bully picks on one person after another.

Secondary Bullying:This is where people unwittingly bully and it usually happens where there is a serial bully in the workplace.

Bullying is often difficult to see especially when a person looks at the incidents individually as they can seem small, insignificant and out of context. The following are some examples of what makes up bullying. This list is not inclusive.

• Nit picking, criticism under the guise of constructive criticism.

• Denied information /knowledge that is necessary to undertake work or to achieve objectives.

• Being subjected to offensive bad language, ridicule, being shouted at.

• Constant undermining especially in front of others.

• Withholding information.

• Aggressive/obscene language.

• Blamed for problems caused by others.

• Always given too much to do, so that you regularly fail in your work.

• Regularly threatened with dismissal.

• Unfairly passed over for promotion or denied training opportunities.

• Repeated requests with impossible deadline or impossible tasks.

• Being belittled or demeaned in front of others.

• Social isolation /exclusion.

• Goal posts constantly shifting with work.

• Nothing is ever good enough.

• Work is been constantly corrected.

• Being overloaded with work or work being taken away and being given menial tasks or no work at all.

• Work increased but no authority.

• Forced to work long hours, often without remuneration and under threat of dismissal

• Find requests for leave have unacceptable and unnecessary conditions attached, sometimes overturning previous approval, especially if the person has taken action to address bullying in the meantime

• Denied annual leave, sickness leave, or especially compassionate leave

• When on leave, are harassed by calls at home or on holiday, often at unsocial hours.

Effects of Bullying

Bullying can have a serious impact on a person’s physical and emotional health. Some of the symptoms are as follows:

Work performance deteriorates.

Poor concentration, forgetfulness.

Disempowerment.

Tearfulness, irritability, angry outbursts, hyper vigilant.

Dread going into work.

Self-worth, self-esteem and confidence takes a nose dive with a person constantly feeling unsure of themselves and questioning and doubting themselves and their performance.

Feelings of anxiety and stress.

Fear, shame guilt.

Depression.

Panic Attacks.

Difficulties with sleep.

Fatigue.

Stress related illnesses and headaches.

Can lead to suicide.

Bullying is a form of abuse. It can have a devastating effect on a person’s emotional and physical health and it happens to some extent in all organisations. More often than not a person will either put up with the bullying or tend to leave. In a lot of cases where a person makes a complaint or tries to do something about it, it is not dealt with in a proper and comprehensive manner even though there are company policies in place to deal with this specifically. Whilst the above is only a brief overview, if you think that you are being bullied in your workplace my advice would be to educate yourself on what bullying is all about. This information helps to empower you and you can then make real choices as to what is best for you.

Work Stress and the Recession

Tue, 27 Mar 2012 09:32:19 +0100

Work Stress and the Recession

Stress in the work place is not a new phenomenon. There has always been stress arising from, for example, meeting deadlines, people conflict and demanding bosses but since the recession, surveys carried out in Ireland and research from the U.K. and U.S.A. show that there has been a significant rise in stress in the workplace. The main factor contributing to this stress is fear. Fear for one’s job which in turn causes feelings of insecurity and vulnerability which in turn causes stress and anxiety. Other major factors are a decrease in salary and an increase in workload as employers cut costs and / or staff numbers. If there is poor communication between management and staff stress levels may increase as staff will not be fully aware of what is happening within the company. This fear of the unknown can lead to increased levels of stress and anxiety as the feeling of control is gone. Lack of control, be it conscious or subconscious, can feed fear and anxiety. Also, fear of saying “no” or “enough” to the boss or discussing the pressure experienced from increased work load can also lead to stress. This in turn can cause worry, fatigue and stress related symptoms to build up which can have a detrimental effect one’s health in general.

In 2011 two Irish Health Care Providers published the following results from research carried out:

VHI Corporate Solutions saw a ‘stark increase’ in the first quarter of 2011 compared to the same period the previous year, as follows:

• 110% increase in employees with emotional health issues

• 204% increase in queries regarding bullying and harassment.

Quinn Health Care showed:

• Irish working women are being hit hard by the recession with 78% struggling to balance the needs of work and family commitments (95% are in the 45-54 age group),

• Some 65% of working women in Ireland feel their stress levels have increased because of work demands since the start of the recession, but half that figure hesitate to ask their boss for support.

Long term stress is known to impact on both physical and emotional health. Work stress is not only confined to the work place, it can spill over into a person’s personal life and relationships. People respond differently to stress and have different coping mechanisms. For some it may be absenteeism especially if they have a certain amount of uncertified sick days. For others it may be working longer hours, working through lunch breaks, going in early and reluctant to go home on time. They feel stressed and are afraid to take sick leave which in turn increases their stress. For others trying to cope with stress it may be increased consumption of food or alcohol or it may even be substance abuse. Some studies have reported an 18% rise in smoking and consumption of alcohol during times of stress and 9% rise in food consumption.

In 2009, Mind, a UK based mental health charity carried out a survey of 2,050 people looking at the impact of the recession on employees’ mental health and it found that:

Half of the participants reported low morale

1 in 10 had visited their G.P. with work related stress

7% had started antidepressants

5% had seen a counsellor

28% were working longer hours

One third were having to compete against each other

Other factors that can influence work placed stress is poor communication from management. If a manager within an organisation or, indeed, the organisation in general has poor communication skills this can reinforce existing fears and increase tension and stress that employees may be experiencing due to uncertainty and the unknown. Research published in February of this year and carried out by the University of Nottingham, the University of Ulster and the Northern Ireland Civil Service showed that work-related stress has “soared” by 40% and absentee rates by 25% during the recession. It involved over 17,000 civil servants in Northern Ireland and was carried out over a four year period between 2005 and 2009(before and during the recession) The study’s lead author Jonathan Houdmont emphasised the importance of good communication from management. He said “national economic crises can have substantial implications for workers' health and organisational performance”, adding: "The findings suggest that those businesses which seek to reduce work-related stress during austere economic times are likely to experience lower staff absence and greater productivity."

Another down side to working closely with people who are showing signs of stress is that stress can also be contagious. Researchers from the University of Hawaii discovered that stress and anxiety levels can be passed onto each other in the work place - and it spreads just as quickly as a virus. The study suggests that our brains act like sponges and subconsciously soak up emotions, behavioural traits and facial expressions emitted from our co-workers.

Some of the physical and emotional symptoms of stress may be:

Moodiness/Irritability

Worry

Withdrawal/isolation

Zoning out for hours on end in front of TV, laptop/games

Overeating/under eating

Lack of concentration

Fatigue

Over working

Requiring constant reassurance

Increased pessimism

Intolerance/Impatience

Prolonged stress can lead to an increase in negative thoughts

Sleeping difficulties - difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep

Lack of interest in sex

Here are some things that you can do to help cope with stress:

First of all check your breathing. Is your breath flowing? If not here is a simple breathing exercise that needs to be practiced several times a day. Inhale, take a deep breath, hold it for a few seconds and then gently exhale, imagining/visualising/feeling that you are releasing all the tension in your body.

Keeping a journal. Write down all the things that are worrying you. Then separate them into worries that are within your control and things that you can do something about to worries that are out of your control. With the latter it may help to re-frame them.For example, If stuck in a queue or traffic rather than getting stressed out about something that you cannot change use to time to check in with yourself to see how and where you are in yourself.Take the opportunity to practice some breathing exercises. If in the car listen to some music or radio show that will help you relax.

If radio/TV, newspapers feed your worry and anxiety avoid them, change the channel to something more relaxing.

Gratitude- being grateful for all the positive things in your life no matter how small. Make a conscious effort to do this throughout the day.

Exercise - making a point of exercising on most days and doing something that you enjoy. It may be difficult to do but it is important to persevere with this.

Ask questions - checking things out can stop your fears feeding your anxiety.

Connect with people – do not isolate yourself.

GP – visit your GP if the pressure is getting too much.

It may be helpful to talk to a professional to help give you clarity and to understand your fears e.g. a Therapist.

Valentine's Day: Does it Stress You Out?

Tue, 07 Feb 2012 13:25:09 +0100

Valentine’s Day: Does It Stress You Out ?

Since the middle ages Valentine’s Day has been associated with love and romance, a day of expressing your love to the loved one in your life. As time has gone on it has become more and more commercialised with the emphasis on cards, flowers, gifts, eating out or the perfect food to create the perfect meal at home. The unspoken message that is being communicated is that if the above criteria are fulfilled it will be a perfect day because there is proof of love. As a result it puts a lot of couples under pressure. The message being conveyed is that this is how a relationship is defined.

In order to celebrate Valentine’s Day successfully we are told that we need to have some or all of the following:

A Valentine Card - that has the perfect verse for your loved one.

Flowers - especially roses are supposedly the ultimate expression of love.

Gifts - there is such an array of gifts manufactured especially for Valentine’s Day, or it is the perfect day to get engaged!

Dining out - usually there are several sittings on the night so you have a specified length of time to eat. Restaurants are usually overcrowded and full of couples celebrating Valentine’s Day.

Here is what you can do:

Why not discuss what you both want for Valentine’s Day, how you would both like to celebrate it and then compromise if need be. Whilst some would argue that this takes the romance out of the day, it also takes the pressure off. It can be a day to look forward to and know what to plan for. It can reduce the stress and unrealistic expectations and the disappointment that often ensues. You may come up with something alternative but something that you both want to do and want to do together. It might also be an idea to decide and discuss if you want a lavish affair or something more simple that is, perhaps, within both of your budgets.

If you are going to exchange cards do they have to be ‘bought’ cards. If a card is made with love it can have more meaning as time and care went into its creation. It is also original. Then again, it doesn’t even have to be a card; it could be a poem that romantically expresses how you feel about your partner or even a good old fashioned love letter.

Do you have to buy flowers or a gift? Again it is not about how much is spent that determines whether or not Valentine’s Day is a success. It’s about the thought and effort that goes into the gift or flowers. A gift can be a token gift; it can be doing something for your partner that they hate doing; it can be combining budgets and doing something that you both enjoy doing together. If you have children it can be something as simple as giving each other time on your own without any interruptions from phone calls etc.

Do you want to go out for a meal? It is ok not to want to go out on the night. If you decide to eat in, it has to be because you both want to and whoever is doing the cooking is not under pressure to cook, or that the meal has to be the perfect meal. It can be an ordinary everyday affair prepared with love and time to sit, relax, talk and enjoy the food and each other’s company.

If none of the above happens it does not mean that it defines your relationship. Remember your relationship is more than one day, 14th February. It goes on 365 days a year. If your partner does not like or believe in Valentine’s Day, take an overview and see that there is much more to your relationship than one day. Your partner may have outstanding qualities that are invaluable to you.

For those not in a relationship Valentine’s Day can still be celebrated. It can be about sharing it with a friend, family, or someone whom you care about. Showing them how much you care and how much they mean to you. It can be about stepping outside the box and you may be surprised with what you come up with. In Finland and Estonia Valentine's Day is known as "Friend's Day". This day is more about remembering all your friends as well as your loved ones, a fine sentiment indeed.

Redundancy and it's Emotional Impact

Sun, 29 Jan 2012 18:27:10 +0100

Redundancy and it's Emotional Impact

In today’s economic climate redundancy is an all too familiar word that we constantly read or hear about. Daily we hear of job losses, downsizing or closures and more often than not we know someone who has been directly affected.

Redundancy is one of the most stressful events that a person can experience in their life. It’s there next to death, divorce, moving house, illness etc. One survey of British workers even rated redundancy as a more stressful life event than divorce or moving house.

Being made redundant is a very stressful event for the majority of people. It impacts both on the person’s life as they know it as well as on a psychological level. Redundancy is known to have an effect on a person’s confidence and self-esteem. They may experience difficulty adjusting to a situation that they did not ask for and it can have a more severe effect on a person’s mental health such as depression.

The impact that redundancy has on a person has been compared to the emotions experienced during bereavement. If you have been made redundant or know someone who has, it is important to be aware of the emotional impact that it can have and to know that some of the emotions experienced are normal and part of the process. By having this awareness it will help you to manage your feelings better. How a person deals with and manages feelings differ from person to person.

Some of the more common feelings experienced resulting from redundancy are as follows and these can occur at any stage of the process;

Shock - This is an acute stress reaction which is experienced when extraordinary events shatter our sense of security. It is the mind's and body's response to feelings (both perceived and real) of intense helplessness. How a person deals with shock is very subjective. One can feel numb / dead inside, become very rational etc. All one can do at this stage is to go with it. The feeling will subside when one is ready to deal with the news.

Disbelief - a person can’t quite believe that this is really happening to them. They may find it difficult to process the information that they are being given. They may question “why has this happened to me”, or they may try bargaining, “if I do this…..” It has been shown that it is easier to deal with redundancy if there is mass redundancy rather than it just being one person.

Anger - This is a common reaction. The person may blame their boss and the anger may be directed at management or in some cases can be directed at themselves. People who are high achievers are known to blame themselves and to direct their anger at themselves for not working hard enough or for not seeing it coming. It can be any number of reasons but they will always find a reason to blame themselves and in return be angry with themselves. It is important to be able to express this anger in a constructive and rational way and to feel understood or to have someone there to listen and be supportive in order to help the process that one is going through.

Loss - This is a major factor with redundancy. For people whose job is very important to them they may experience a loss of identity, who are they now when they don’t have a job to go to? This can be very difficult for a person to come to terms with. This tends to be the case for men more so than women, especially if they are the breadwinners and high achievers. There is also the loss of routine, the routines and rituals associated with work are no longer there and as this is a transitional space it can take some time to adapt to the lack of routine. There is the loss of camaraderie, loss of income and of status. This can trigger a loss of control which can feed into a person’s self-esteem.

The length of time it takes to go through these emotions varies from person to person but for most people having gone through these emotions they are ready to move on and accept the situation. For others they find it difficult to recover and maybe struggle with the feeling of rejection, self–esteem issues, confidence and self-worth and as a result may experience depression which, in turn, may lead to suicidal thoughts. The knock-on effect or secondary stressors of redundancy can also impact on a person’s mental health. Some of the factors include fear for the future, financial insecurity or a strain on relationships. These can also be triggers for depression. It is really important to be aware if negative thoughts and emotions are taking hold or if a person is blaming themselves and see this as personal failure. This can manifest itself in not wanting to go out because the feeling is that there is a stigma attached to being unemployed or there may be a feeling of embarrassment or shame. A person may also withdraw from their partner and family. They may find themselves drinking /gambling/using drugs more than usual. This is where a person needs to seek professional help.

No matter how bad a person feels at the time they will get over it. It is also about being patient because it takes time to ‘work through this loss’. Some people feel that it was the best thing that ever happened to them as it gives them the opportunity to perhaps take a different career path, travel, go back to education, become a stay-at-home parent or simply connect more with their family. Perhaps it was an opportunity to leave a stressful job, a job that the person felt obliged to stay in because it paid the bills and get a certain standard of living. A less stressful job may open up new possibilities of more free time, spending more time with family, or just being able to be more present. After working through the whole process a host of opportunities can open up and there may be the realisation that you are more than your job. There is life after redundancy.

Christmas

Tue, 13 Dec 2011 17:57:05 +0100

It’s that time of year again, it’s Christmas. It brings up a mixed range of emotions from ‘can’t wait for it’ to ‘wishing it was over’. There is so much commercialism and consumerism that it is very easy to get caught up in the pressure and panic to have that perfect Christmas.

There is the underlying message that Christmas is a perfect time, it is about the perfect family, the perfect gift, the perfect meal etc. It can often be difficult not to buy into some or all of this. If Christmas was to be stripped bare what would we be left with? Christmas is about celebrating the beginning of new life, it is about renewal, sharing, giving and receiving. It can also be about forgiveness and letting bygones be bygones. It is a very basic and simple message but a lot of this gets lost in the hype.

Perhaps it’s time to reacquaint ourselves with the simplicity of Christmas. This can bring us joy, a sense of connection and fulfillment which is there waiting for us to really experience it. There is beauty in simplicity.

Anger

Mon, 05 Dec 2011 11:47:03 +0100

Anger is a normal emotion. It is a very powerful emotion and when used constructively can have a very positive impact. It is a primary emotion and its purpose is to protect us against perceived threat in that something or somebody who can harm us or take something away from us. It can be seen as a barometer that tells us something does not feel right for us such as an injustice, an abuse of power, manipulation etc. and that we need to do something about it. Anger can range from feelings of mild irritation to intense feelings of rage. It is the physiological symptoms that can intensify the feeling as the anger sends a signal to the body to prepare itself to defend or render the perceived threat ineffective.

Anger can become a problem when a person does not understand the reason for their anger and they continuously act out of the feeling. They find themselves regularly feeling angry, agitated, impatient, sarcastic, nasty, and/or resentful to name a few of the expressions of this anger. They can also be passive aggressive (unable to express their anger with a person but they will get you back) abusive and even aggressive. The impact that this can have on the person is that they may be preoccupied with angry thoughts, not feeling happy or content with themselves, they can experience problems with relationships and may feel isolated or alone.

So what is going on when a person is easily angered and displays the above symptoms? On a subconscious level no matter how bad the behaviour is the person has to get something out of it even though they think and feel that they are not. When this anger is unravelled, at its core are feelings of worthlessness, disrespect, not feeling valued, unimportance, rejection, not feeling good enough, feeling ignored, unloved, or powerless. So, when a person experiences any of these feelings, anger jumps in almost like a reflex action and its purpose is to protect the person from experiencing the core feeling. The impact of this is that the person feels better about themselves because the anger eases or sooths the core feeling. This can then be rationalised by blaming someone else, it is their partner’s fault, the boss or the person in the supermarket or the driver that pulls out in front of them. It is always somebody else’s fault. When a person gets caught in this cycle it is often difficult for them to be aware that there is a problem and it needs to be addressed.

Whilst learning to step back when confronted with angry situations, deep breathing, mindfulness, exercise, etc are helpful but it does not get to the root cause of the anger, it merely distracts, it has a band aid effect and helps to manage the immediate situation.

If a person wants to get to the root cause of their anger, understand and effectively learn to manage their anger, therapy is where you can explore this, and it is a safe place to do this. With awareness and insight it helps to get to the root cause. This in turn helps the person to recognise situations where these feelings can trigger the anger and it in turn gives real choice and control in how to act and react in certain situations. Otherwise when this anger is carried throughout a person’s life it does not allow a person to open their hearts to others or to truly give and to receive love and acceptance from others.

Women as Breadwinners

Thu, 03 Nov 2011 11:01:13 +0100

The role of women in the workplace is rapidly changing as more and more women are becoming the main or sole breadwinner in families. Figures recently released in Ireland show that 33% of working women in Ireland are the main breadwinners (2011 Pfizer Health Index). In the U.S. women, for the first time, now make up half of the working population and according to the US Bureau of Labor statistics (2009) one third of women are main or sole breadwinners and this was expected to rise with the faltering economy. In the UK a survey carried out by the government revealed that nearly 19% of women earned more than men, 25% earned the same whereas in 1969 it was only 4%. (The figures come from a Government commissioned report into economic inequality, published by the National Equality Panel. It analysed official surveys on households in the UK. over the past four decades, which included both married and unmarried couples.)

In a small study ‘The Female Breadwinner: A Phenomenological Experience and Gendered Identity in Work/Family Spaces”, Rachael Meisenbach found that the female breadwinner described six essential experiences: opportunities for control, independence, pressure and worry, valuing partners’ contributions, guilt and resentment, and ambition

As breadwinners, women face many challenges whether this role is by choice or by default. This role can cause women to feel challenged as traditional values and perceptions held by society dictate that a man’s role is that of breadwinner and a women’s role, whether she is working or not, is that of carer. As a result it can bring up a range of feelings such as;

Resentment- It can cause conflicted feelings as a woman may feel grateful that her husband is minding the children and doing household chores and at the same time resentful that he is not out earning money or earning enough money.
Shame - yes shame, that she is the breadwinner and ‘it should be her husband’ in this role.

In today’s struggling economy women can find themselves in this role by default. Being 100% responsible for the family income can cause immense pressure. Again there may be conflict as a woman has to negotiate the transition to this new territory of how to be in the role of breadwinner and at the same time allowing her partner or husband to be the full time father and /or househusband. Resentment can come about if the woman is expected or expects herself to take on multiple roles, or if she expects her husband to do the child minding and household chores the same way as she did. She can also feel resentful that this is something that she did not sign up for and is not her choice. Resentful that she is not receiving the emotional support that she needs from her partner or is unable to ask for it yet she is still expected or expects herself to be the one to give the emotional support.

There can also be guilt. Guilt that she has a job whilst her husband/partner is struggling with not having a job, guilt that she may actually be enjoying this new found freedom and guilt that she cannot be available to her husband and children as she was before.

If these feelings are not worked through it can lead to anger and this in turn may be directed at her partner. For example, she may be angry that he is not doing the child rearing, the household chores, or the shopping the way that she does. This in turn leads to conflict, it puts pressure on the relationship, and then neither feels supported by the other.

So what can be done to make the role of the woman as breadwinner easier regardless of whether it is by choice or default? Couples need to renegotiate how they relate to each other. This can be done by communication. They need to communicate openly about the impact that the woman’s role has on their relationship. They need to remember what brought them together in the first place and what it is that they love and enjoy about each other. It is also about respect for each other, respect for what they do and the challenges that go with that. Couples need to become aware of their perceptions of each other and to resist judging the other by their income or lack of it. It may also be learning to ask for support which in turn leads to supporting each other, supporting each other’s goals and career choices and moving forward together in a healthy and supportive environment.

Coping with your emotions & anxieties when starting college

Tue, 27 Sep 2011 08:45:18 +0100

Starting College can bring up a range of emotions from excitement and feeling happy with this new phase of your life to fear, trepidation, worry and anxiety. Then again you may be so caught up with the excitement of starting college that it’s only after you start that the emotions may surface.

Some of the issues that may cause anxiety and worry when you start college are living away from home for the first time. Without being fully aware of it you are now responsible for yourself, responsible for going to class each day. No longer, for example, is the teacher putting pressure on you, it’s up to you to do your assignments and have them in on time. Or it may be that you are no longer top of the class, you are now in an environment where you are on the same level as your peers. This can be quiet unsettling for some. Starting college can feel impersonal. Lecture halls may seem daunting as you adjust to moving out of the safety of your classroom. Also you may have left behind your circle of friends, or the people that you sat next to in school and the challenge may be to make new friends. These are just some examples of what can make starting college lonely for some.

You need to remember that you are not alone and you are not the only one experiencing these feelings. You may think that everyone else is coping with starting college, everyone except you. Well that is not the case. Here are some facts that you might find interesting:

In 2007 the World Health Organisation reported that one in four students will develop mental health problems.
In a study carried out for Coventry University, Turner Hammond, Gilchrist and Barlow (2007) found that male students were less likely to seek help.31% of students who experienced problems did not seek help from anyone. 28% turned to a friend and only 4% of students sought help from counselling services. Over half of the students relied on themselves in coping with feeling anxious and depressed.

A study carried out by Escoffery in 2005 showed that online services reduce the stigma that is attached to seeking support when feeling anxious or depressed. 74% of students used this source for health problems-it is proposed that by having mental health supports online, it has the potential to overcome many of the obstacles that inhibit people from availing of appropriate help.

Online services facilitate anonymity, thus reducing the stigma associated with accessing mental health services. (Suler, 2004)

One thing that you might find helpful if you are feeling overwhelmed is to journal your thoughts, write down all your worries, feelings of angst or anxieties, this can help to get them out of your head.

Focus on your breathing, check to see how you are breathing as you feel tense and anxious. Is your breathing shallow or does it stop at your chest. Take a few moments to slowly inhale, hold your breath for one -two seconds and then slowly exhale letting go of worries and tensions and feel how your body relaxes with this simple exercise.

Check out this website for some support: http://www.reachout.com

Remember there are counselling or support services in all colleges or you can even contact your G.P.. It is important to talk about what it is that you are struggling with, important to look for support because the sooner you look for help the sooner you can start enjoying college. Starting college can be a great experience so you owe it to yourself to embrace it and enjoy all the wonderful opportunities that going to college has to offer.